Living with Bipolar II

This book explains the benefits of forgiveness, not in the biblical sense but as a way of ridding yourself of anger.  Bibliotherapy (Reading as a part of therapy) has been a large part of my journey towards wellness.

From Publishers Weekly

Forgiveness is a choice you can and should make if you want to live longer and be healthy, according to Tibbits, a mental health counselor, speaker and clergyman who is Chief People Officer at Florida Hospital. Using a step-by-step approach, Tibbits explains how we can stop listening to and telling our “grievance stories” (tales of past hurts), develop the skills of empathy and humility, change our perspective on the past and focus on goals for the future, leading us to forgiveness. Written in simple, nontechnical language reminiscent of that used in motivational seminars, Tibbits explores the connection between hanging on to past angers and hurts, and hypertension and its associated health problems, and concludes that we should forgive others for our own benefit. (“There is only one thing to consider when you hit the fork in the road that splits forgiveness and unforgiveness: which is the better choice for you?”) The book suffers from repetition and could be substantially shortened. Those seeking a spiritual approach to forgiveness may be disappointed at the lack of reference to faith or religion, but those who like step-by-step guidance, or have enjoyed Tibbits’s seminars, will find the text useful.
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This material is taken from the book Feeling Good (the new mood therapy) by Dr. Robert Burns.  This book has been the greatest help to me in finally understanding the methodology of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).  As a guy who has read hundreds of self-help books, this book by far has been the most helpful to my own mental health!

Definitions of Cognitive Distortions:

1. ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING:  You see things in black and white categories.  If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
2. OVERGENERALIZATION:  You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
3. MENTAL FILTER:  You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened , like the drop of ink that colors the entire glass of water.
4. DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE:  You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or another.  In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
5. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS:  You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.
   1. MIND READING:  You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out.
   2. THE FORTUNE TELLER ERROR:  You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already established fact.
6. MAGNIFICATION (CATASTROPHIZING) OR MINIMIZATION:  You exaggerate the importance of things (such as a mistake or goof up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or the other person’s imperfections).  This is also called the binocular trick.
7. EMOTIONAL REASONING:  You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things are:  I feel it, therefore it must be true.”
8. SHOULD STATEMENTS:  You try to motivate yourself with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.  “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders.  The emotional consequence is guilt.  When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.
9. LABELING AND MISLABELING:  This is an extreme form of overgeneralization.  Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself: “I’m a loser.”  When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him: “He’s a god**** louse”.”  Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.
10. PERSONALIZATION:  You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.